


I Hate Accidents Except When We Went From Friends To This

by LittleSparrow69



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: AU: Season 3 Timeline, Comfort, Coming Untouched, First time for those three little words, Fluff, Forehead Kisses, I lost track of how many kisses, Jack is a nurturer, Light Angst, M/M, Mac has a hard time using his words, Mac has sensitive nipples, Mac needs nurturing, Mac stutters when exhausted. Yes, Nipple Play, Porn with Feelings, Post mission make-out session, Sleepy Kisses, So many kisses, Soft Porn, The feels got so real they needed their own chapter, he does
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 09:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20722115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSparrow69/pseuds/LittleSparrow69
Summary: Jack lived and breathed his love for Mac every single day.





	1. Porn

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Paper Rings by Taylor Swift. 
> 
> I enjoy nearly all forms of porn but, you know, sometimes you just want something slow, sweet and loving and that is what I was in the mood for. I think I kinked myself out on the hard-core stuff in the Supernatural fandom so this is softer and not nearly as graphic as my norm. I also continue to underestimate how wordy I am. This is double the word count I had been anticipating.
> 
> Also - those of you that have betas consider yourself lucky. This is spell-checked and proof-read to death. All mistakes are of course mine alone.

Jack hadn’t had a make out session like this since he was a teenager. Forty-five minutes and they’d done nothing but kiss and explore, hands and lips content to roam free and map areas that had once, not all that long ago, been off limits to such intimacy. They’d started on the couch as per their post mission custom. Tired, but still too amped up to merely fall into bed, they’d curled up together to watch Lord of the Rings and await the inevitable adrenaline crash that would allow them to stagger off to Mac’s room and actually sleep. Jack wasn’t even sure who started it, not that it mattered, but one minute they were making fun of hairy hobbit feet and the next they were so wrapped up in each other that they rolled right off the couch. Jack landed on his back on the carpet, Mac on top of him, the wind effectively knocked out of him and both of them pretty damn surprised about it. Mac’s head came up, blonde hair sticking up every which way from Jack’s hands, bright blue eyes wide and blinking at the sudden relocation. 

“You okay?” Mac asked with a slight chuckle, his hand immediately went to the back of Jack’s head to give it a little rub. 

“’Course I am,” Jack said as he rolled them over so that Mac was beneath him. “It was my plan all along. I’ve got you right where I want you.” 

Mac laughed freely this time. It gave Jack butterflies. He’d known Mac for years and knew the kid had a playful side…but _this_ kind of playful was all new between them. Mac bent his leg and pushed off the floor with his foot, rolling them over yet again with Jack beneath him. 

“Right where you want me, huh?" Mac arched a brow. “On the floor? A bit cold down here don’t you think?” 

They’d gotten in somewhere around four in the morning and changed into something more comfortable before camping out on the couch. Jack in a well-worn t-shirt and his blue sweats, Mac in a long sleeved Henley and his pajama pants and a fresh pair of socks. One would think they were in New England in November instead of the tail end of spring in Los Angeles. Granted, his boy did run a little on the cool side but Jack found the slight temperature change refreshing. 

“You just need someone to keep you warm and toasty,’s all, “Jack said as he rolled them over yet again. He spied the remote out of the corner of his eye on the floor next to them and took his eyes off Mac just long enough to hit the mute button and toss it on the couch. 

“Oh, yeah?” Mac played along. “Well let’s see what you’ve got, big guy.” 

Mac tried to roll them over again but Jack wasn’t having it this time, he lowered his mouth to Mac’s neck and nuzzled the spot that always got a reaction from the kid. Mac hummed low and pleased, canting his head to the side to give him better access. 

“Mmmmmm, yeah,” Jack breathed against pale skin as Mac opened his legs to him, knees pulled back to cradle Jack between them. 

They’d kept things pretty tame thus far with marathon kisses and hands that stayed primarily above the waist but for the occasional grope to a tight backside. Arousal simmered low and lazy, both semi-hard but content to do nothing more than kiss and touch and breathe the same air. There was no rush, no urgent need for completion, nothing beyond the desire to be close to one another. 

It probably would have stayed that way too if Jack hadn’t decided to take a little trip south. His plan had been entirely innocent. Mac’s Henley was covering all that glorious skin and Jack just wanted access…and maybe just a little taste. Come to think of it, that was probably what landed him on the floor to begin with. Not much room for two grown men to maneuver on the couch. So. He slowly made his way down the firm, well defined torso and along the way he just so happened to come across a perfectly erect nipple poking through the bothersome material. It was the most natural thing in the world to give it a careful nip and tug with his teeth – and that’s all it would have been too if Mac hadn’t lit up like a live wire, hips jerking sharply beneath him as the kid made a noise the likes of which Jack had never heard from him before. 

It was followed by an extremely rare expletive of the F-bomb variety, a testament to just how surprised Mac was by his own response to the unexpected foreplay. 

“You like that?” The answer was glaringly obvious and Jack couldn’t resist doing it again, only this time he used his fingers to lightly pinch Mac’s other nipple at the same time. The result was just as dramatic and just as hot as the first time. Mac bucked deliciously beneath him and cried out, so fucking responsive Jack could barely stand it. 

The kid was rock hard against his abs and Jack wanted nothing more but to keep going and see where it would take them…but he had to make sure they were on the same page. Three months into this new aspect of their relationship and they’d yet to fully consummate it. They’d done practically everything else, but no penetration. While Mac was far from a virgin when it came to women his experience with men was much more limited. That had surprised Jack a little because he’d known of at least two different boyfriends his partner had dated over the years and one of them had lasted close to a year. Whatever the reason, Mac had not yet taken that final step and Jack had assured him that it wasn’t an issue and that he was more than willing to wait until Mac was ready. It would happen in its own time…or it wouldn’t. No pressure either way. If they never did anything more…Jack would be okay with that. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t want…because he _wanted._ Badly. 

Forcing himself to release Mac’s nipple Jack shifted his body carefully and eased his way upward until they were face to face again, his partner beautifully flushed and panting as he met Jack’s gaze. 

“Do you have any idea how turned on I am right now?” Jack asked. Seriously, this boy could wind him up like nobody’s business. 

It was mostly a rhetorical question so Jack was surprised when Mac came back with a shaky and breathless, “Yeah?” 

There was a fair amount of arousal evident in Mac’s expression but Jack couldn’t help but zero in on the hint of self-consciousness as well. He’d noticed early on that the kid had some seriously sensitive nipples but seemed to be somewhat embarrassed by it. He gently brushed the hair back from Mac’s forehead, wondering what had led to such feelings. Jack shifted again so Mac could feel the evidence in question and watched transfixed as the kid’s lashes fluttered at the contact.

“You want me to keep going?” Jack asked. It was a 180 from the direction they’d been headed previously, the air now charged and expectant instead of slow and sleepy. 

Mac searched his gaze for a moment before asking, “Do _you_ want to?” 

“Not gonna lie. I really, really do,” Jack admitted. “But it’s your call, Chief. I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” 

Mac’s pause was infinitesimal. “Keep going.” 

Jack’s eyes narrowed slightly, assessing the response to determine if Mac was perhaps only saying what he thought Jack wanted to hear, because that…

“Please, Jack,” Mac whispered and it was all Jack needed to hear. Mac so rarely asked for anything. He kissed Mac soundly on the lips and shifted lower once again, keeping his weight evenly distributed as he did so. 

“Have you ever gotten off like this?” Jack asked curiously. 

“No.” Mac was still panting very lightly. 

“You think you can?” 

“I don’t…I don’t know,” Mac answered and Jack had to hide a smile at the hint of impatience in that tone. 

“Feels good though, right?” Jack loved a challenge and he could tell by Mac’s initial reaction that it was a real possibility to get the young man off this way if he let himself go. 

“It feels really good, Jack,” Mac agreed, still a little dazed by the unexpected surge in arousal. “So good.” 

Well that was all the incentive Jack needed. 

He covered Mac’s nipple again, breathing warm air through the Henley and dampening the material with his tongue until it was sticking to the skin beneath. Barely there noises of approval trickled from Mac’s throat as Jack worked but it wasn’t until he enveloped the stiff little bud in his mouth and gave it a suckle that Mac’s hips jerked and a needy whine escaped the young man. He did it again…and again, and each time the kid’s hips hitched as if they were attached to a trip wire, the movement completely involuntary. 

“Jesus,” Jack swore with feeling. “So fucking hot, baby.” 

Mac’s answering whimper was startlingly helpless. Jack didn’t stop what he was doing but he flicked his eyes upward. Mac’s head was thrown back, neck arched, skin infused with a pale pink that darkened as it disappeared beneath the collar of his shirt.

“Jack…” Mac’s voice so low it was barely audible, clearly affected by what Jack was doing. 

Moaning into Mac’s chest, Jack gave a couple of nips to the hard nub as his hands found the hem of Mac’s Henley and slowly worked it upward. Mac hissed at the prick of his teeth, hands gripping and releasing the muscle of Jack’s biceps, hips stuttering a staccato rhythm against Jack’s torso. The kid was so hard against him that it was kind of uncomfortable, but Jack wasn’t much better off. He’d been getting pretty fresh with the carpet since they’d started and he dare not move too much lest he cut the party short on his end. 

Thumbs gently stroked the outside of Mac’s ribcage on either side before he pulled his head back just enough to slide the shirt up until it was rucked up as far as it would go. Jack dropped a kiss to the center of Mac’s chest, mouthing at the firm, flawless flesh. The kid was lean and fit with just the right amount of muscle tone and definition. Dusky, rose colored nipples were pebbled and hard, one darker than the other from Jack’s attention. Jack trailed his way to the other one and didn’t waste any time with teasing, just took the flesh into his mouth and pulled at it with pulsing, almost gentle suction. 

Mac arched up from the floor with a shocked gasp and Jack’s hand slid to the small of his back, soothing and supporting as the kid squirmed beneath him. 

“Nnnnggghhh…Oh, God, Jack…please,” Mac’s plea started out deep but faded to a near whisper towards the end, each word laced with subtle but unmistakable desperation that had Jack groaning in response. “Jack…Jack…oh, please…Jackie…”

If Jack weren’t wired already, that simple variation of his name was enough to shoot white hot arousal straight through him. Mac didn’t use pet names like he did and Jack was fine with that. They came to him as easy as breathing and it just wasn’t Mac’s style. But when Mac started to lose control, every once in a while he’d slip and call him Jackie. It said a lot about how worked up his boy was and just how much he enjoyed what Jack was doing. He was pretty sure Mac wasn’t even aware of it which made it _so_ much hotter.

Jack released the nipple in his mouth and gave it a kiss before dropping his forehead to Mac’s heaving chest and taking a few breaths to will his raging hard on back to something more manageable. _Christ, kid. No idea what you do to me._ Above him a very plaintive whine filled the air, Mac tossing his head back and forth at the loss of such glorious sensation. 

“Easy, darlin’,” Jack reassured. “I’ve got you. Just slowing things down a bit.” 

Jack suspected he could get the young man off very quickly if he wanted to, but where was the fun or challenge in that? There was absolutely no rush and beyond that Jack wanted to make the experience as pleasurable as possible for Mac. He licked his way back to those pretty nipples and did his best to keep the sucking and biting on reserve for when it was time to seal the deal. There was plenty of fun to be had otherwise and Jack had been told more than once that his mouth was one of his greatest assets. He’d also been told it was his biggest downfall but, you know, context. 

He took his time and gave both nipples equal attention – swirling and flicking his tongue over and around each of them and kissing his way back and forth. It was fair to say he had a bit of an oral fixation so time was of no consequence to him. It could have been three minutes, it could have been thirty, it was all the same so long as they were both enjoying it. The urgency of just moments before had eased back to a more manageable, sustainable level of arousal but was still building towards that inevitable climax. He knew this because despite Mac’s rather vocal plea when Jack had latched on earlier, he’d not spoken a word since. Oh, he’d made plenty of noises to let Jack know he liked what he was doing but one thing he’d noticed since they’d become intimate was that the closer Mac edged towards release…the more he seemed to lose the ability to string words together. Jack found it rather endearing actually, possibly because it was the total opposite from his reaction of spewing any and all thoughts that happened to pop into his head before he got off. That and the fact that Mac was so rarely at a loss for words that Jack couldn’t help but feel a bit smug that he’d had a hand in it. 

Breathless moans and soft whimpers were music to Jack’s ears. He’d pulled away once to blow cool air over a tight nub only to have Mac arch sharply and follow him with his chest, all but begging for his mouth. Jack could do nothing but oblige, licking at the tip like a kitten with a bowl of fresh cream as Mac trembled beneath him. It was the trembling that caught Jack’s attention with laser like focus. It was a little too pronounced to be anything other than mixed with exhaustion. Once he really thought about it, and examined himself, Jack could feel the same. They were both running on fumes. 

Jack stopped what he was doing and eased his way upward, resting most of his weight on his elbow as he looked down at his partner. 

“Hey, beautiful,” he called gently; taking note of the light layer of perspiration that gave Mac’s skin a soft glow. “You doing okay?” 

Honestly, he’d never been more smitten with anyone else in his life. The kid was absolutely gorgeous on a good day. Add in kiss swollen lips, hand raked hair and sapphire eyes darkened with lust and Jack was completely and utterly lost. Jack cradled Mac’s face in one hand, thumb settling in the dip of his chin, the tip just barely brushing a lush lower lip. 

Beyond words, Mac tracked Jack with his eyes, noticeably concerned at the sudden change in activity, if the confused crease between his brows was any indication. 

“You with me buddy?” Jack had to ask, needed to check in and make sure they were still working towards the same goal. “You want me to stop?” 

Mac slowly nodded once at the first question and then shook his head with a slight scowl at the second. Jack couldn’t help but smile down at him. 

“Just checking, sweetheart,” he assured. 

Jack swirled his thumb up and over parted lips and traced them slowly as Mac blinked up at him guilelessly. So open, so trusting and still so goddamn innocent in so many ways. A lump formed in his throat and Jack did his best to breathe it away. It was a constant conflict for him - the instinct to protect, to nurture…to defile and devour…to keep…or set free. To love from a distance or with an intimacy that could very well break him if Mac ever decided to walk away. 

Mac’s mouth was pliant and warm to his touch and Jack couldn’t stifle his gasp as a pink tongue lapped at the pad of his thumb before pulling the digit into his mouth and sucking on it. _Fuck._ Jack’s breath hitched at the sight, a surge of endorphins chasing away sudden melancholy. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything in my life as much as I want you, Angus MacGyver.” 

It was true and heartfelt and it just spilled right out of him. Jack replaced his thumb with his lips and plundered that sweet mouth without thinking too hard on what he’d just said. He didn’t regret it at all but while Mac was more than a little drunk on arousal right now…the kid had a near perfect memory and he knew they’d be talking about it at some point. Now though… there were more urgent matters to attend to. Jack took hold of Mac’s hand and brought it to his mouth, placing a kiss on the inside of his wrist. 

“Do you think you could do something for me, sweetheart?” he asked as he placed that hand over Mac’s head and then reached for the other that rested on Jack’s arm. He gently kissed that wrist as well and placed it so that it matched the other. “Can you be a good boy and keep your hands there for me?” 

Mac blinked at him for a moment before nodding in the affirmative, so goddamn trusting and obedient for him that it took Jack’s breath away. All Jack really wanted was to take care of Mac, and for Mac to let him. It wasn’t always that easy but occasionally there was the right combination of ingredients when his young lover didn’t balk at Jack’s need to tend to him. 

“Thank you,” Jack ran the back of his fingers down Mac’s cheekbone and met his gaze. “You’re so good for me.” 

It was one of the only times he could openly praise the young man without any type of self-consciousness from Mac so Jack tended to indulge himself when he could. He kissed Mac on the lips and worked his way back down to the kid’s chest to finish what he started. Darkened from the attention he’d already lavished upon them, Mac’s nipples were so tight and hard they had to ache something awful. Jack wasted no time pulling one into his mouth and suckling just enough to get a rise out of Mac before moving to the other and doing the same. He added a touch of his teeth and gave the nip in his mouth a slight tug. Mac groaned low and long, his body sparking to life again as he writhed beneath Jack in anticipation. The sound and feel of Mac’s reaction amped up Jack’s arousal but he refused to be rushed. He took his time but did not tease, allowing for a slow and steady build towards Mac’s eventual release as he sucked and nibbled back and forth. Mac’s legs tightened against Jack’s torso, panting growing more pronounced as Jack upped the ante. Jack gave an almost inaudible growl as Mac’s hips stuttered roughly beneath him and the kid whimpered helplessly. 

“Yeah, baby,” Jack said as he took a breath. “I’ve got you…come on…” 

Jack looked upward and almost came himself then and there. Mac’s hands were still above his head where Jack had placed them, blond hair rakishly mussed as the kid tossed his head back and forth, completely and utterly lost in sensation. It was simultaneously the hottest and most beautiful fucking thing Jack had _ever_ seen. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold back much longer, his hips rocking of their own accord into the plush carpet. Latching onto one nipple tightly with his mouth, Jack gripped the other between his fingertips and gently twisted. 

Mac surged against him at the dual contact and froze, breath held for the span of several rapid heartbeats…a small, achingly vulnerable sound at the back of his throat signaling surrender as his body seized with the force of his orgasm. That sound, in any other circumstance, would normally kick Jack’s protective instinct into overdrive. In this instance, with no danger present, it was the spark that set him on fire and Jack followed Mac over the edge with a deep, guttural moan of satisfaction. The feel of Mac’s cock twitching against Jack’s abs as he got off had Jack coming so hard that white spots danced against the dark backdrop of closed eyes and for a fleeting moment Jack thought he might pass out. Jack may have bitten down a little harder than anticipated on Mac’s nipple as a counter measure, only realizing he’d done so when Mac hissed and jerked his hips sharply. Jack made a noise of apology and laved at the nub even as he continued to hump the carpet, not too proud to use whatever was available to heighten or extend his pleasure. 

Sometimes, as good as it was, it was over all too quick. Maybe it was the slow build or the hazy soft pull of exhaustion, but the blissful high of release stretched slow and unhurried and Jack relaxed into it, let it settle into his bones as he came back to himself. An excellent orgasm always gave him a rush of adrenaline but this time it was tempered by overwhelming fatigue and Jack felt like a big, sleepy cat. Suddenly he wanted nothing more than to curl around Mac and drift into comfortable slumber for an undefined amount of time. Jack let his forehead drop to Mac’s chest as the aftershocks faded and his hips stilled. It took longer than it probably should have for Jack to realize that Mac’s breathing was a little too even and that he was completely lax beneath him. 

It was enough to get Jack moving and he crawled carefully upward and gripped Mac’s chin giving the kid a gentle shake. “Mac?”

While he had not passed out it appeared Mac hadn’t been so lucky. The kid was out like a light. Jack held back any smugness at his prowess because he knew that it was likely just as much due to exhaustion than anything he had done. He gave Mac a couple of pats on the cheek just to see if he’d wake up. Not even a flutter of an eyelash. Jack groaned in tired dismay. 

“You’re gonna make me carry you, aren’t you?” he asked his unconscious lover. 

Jack knew if he delayed too long he would fall asleep right where he was and while it was ridiculously comfortable at the moment, he knew it wouldn’t be when they woke up. Jack got to his knees, gauging just where to start. He couldn’t help the fond but tired smile that appeared as he brushed Mac’s hair out of his face. The kid looked so much younger than he actually was when he was sleeping. Jack made the call to divest Mac of his shirt. He planned on being the one to keep him warm anyway. He managed to wrangle it free without Mac waking and tossed it somewhere. He’d worry about it later. Jack grimaced as he planted one foot on the floor, the mess in his pants now cool and sticky. With practiced ease he took one of Mac’s arms and pulled him into a sitting position, placed the arm over his shoulder and carefully guided him up and over as he stood until he had him in a fireman’s carry. Noticing the television was still on mute, he retrieved the remote just long enough to shut it off and then dropped it back on the couch. 

Jack carried Mac to the bedroom and turned down the bedding before depositing the young man. Early morning sun streamed through the windows and a glance at the bedside clock informed him that it was 6:27 AM. Most people would be getting ready or already on their way to work. Jack was glad to not be one of them. He stripped himself down and cleaned himself up before doing the same for Mac. Their phones were already on the bedside table and turned off for at least 12 hours post mission as was their custom. Jack released the blackout curtains and pulled them into place, dimming the room considerably. Lastly, he turned on the fan on his side of the bed. The white noise and cool air helped them both sleep better. 

Jack was just getting ready to climb into bed when he noticed Mac was wide eyed and blinking, wondering how he got there. 

“Sure,” Jack’s voice quiet in deference to the setting. “Now you wake up. I see how it is.” 

It was too dark to tell if Mac blushed but Jack didn’t miss the way the kid ducked his head in embarrassment. “S...sorry.” Jack pulled him in with a kiss to the forehead to let Mac know he was teasing. They settled with Jack on his back, Mac curled against him, their legs tangled together. Head resting on his shoulder, the tips of Mac’s fingers toyed with the hair on Jack’s chest. It _could_ have been nothing more than a self-soothing gesture but Jack knew his boy. The kid had something on his mind, had for a few days now, and it was something that wasn’t going to come easy. Jack stilled the fidgety hand and brought it to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the pads of Mac’s fingers. 

“Whatever it is you want to say will keep, Darlin’,” Jack assured, his chin resting comfortably against Mac’s forehead. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk about whatever you want after some shut eye. Deal?” 

“Deal,” Mac agreed, fully relaxing against Jack’s side. It was the last thing he remembered before slipping into the welcome oblivion of much needed sleep.


	2. Feels

2:13 PM

Movement woke him but it was distant and easy to ignore if he wanted to. Darkness pulled at him, deep and dreamless, so very seductive that Jack almost gave in and let it pull him back under. 

“Shhhh, go back to sleep.” 

There was never a time when he would willingly go in the opposite direction of that voice. Jack sluggishly fought his way to full consciousness. It felt a little like swimming through quicksand but he persevered and eventually he blinked his eyes open to find Mac looking down at him - adorably sleep rumpled and gorgeous. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” Mac apologized. 

Jack’s hand was clumsy and heavy as it settled against the side of Mac’s face. “’S’okay,” Jack said tiredly, not missing the way Mac leaned into his touch. 

“I’m just going to grab some water,” Mac informed him. “Be right back.” 

Jack watched him leave noting the kid had donned a pair of black boxer briefs and the light in the attached bathroom was on. The mere mention of water sparked both a mighty thirst and a powerful urge to piss. Jack threw back the covers and made his way unsteadily to relieve himself, slowly shedding the last remnants of exhausted slumber. When he returned Mac was sitting on the bed with his legs tucked under him, a bottle of water in one hand and a protein bar in the other. Jack noticed that one of each had been placed on his pillow for him as well. He pulled on a pair of boxers and joined Mac on the bed, mirroring his position. 

They sat in comfortable silence as they ate. Jack gave Mac the time he needed to gather his thoughts, sensing the time was at hand for whatever it was the young man had on his mind. They were far from done with sleep and would likely spend the next few hours dozing off and on before ordering some take out and then tinkering away on one of the many projects Mac had going until the wee hours of the morning. 

“Okay, Hoss,” Jack’s patience was nearly endless when it came to Mac, but sometimes the kid could think his way right around in circles and make things more complicated than they really were. “Let’s hear it. What’s going on in that big head of yours?” 

Mac sighed in exasperation and Jack had the impression in was aimed at himself more than anything to do with Jack. He met Jack’s gaze, blue eyes as determined as they were anxious. 

“This shouldn’t be so hard,” he said.

Jack remained silent. Let Mac set the pace now that the ball was slowly rolling. 

“I want…” Mac started and then course corrected himself. “I _need_ to thank you, Jack.” 

Jack wasn’t sure what he was expecting but it certainly wasn’t that. His brows rose in surprise at not only the comment but the depth of genuine sincerity in Mac’s voice.

Mac was silent for a few seconds as if attempting to organize his thoughts. 

“I was driving to Phoenix last week for my debrief on the Kosovo mission. It was early and one of those morning talk shows was on the radio.” _Okay…_ Jack remembered that particular morning because he’d given his debrief the night before and got to sleep in on said morning while Mac had to get up bright and early and make the drive in to work. He wondered what exactly this had to do with anything but knew that the kid would bring it all together in his own way. 

“I was only half listening,” Mac continued. “They were talking about a popular author from the 1920’s…I think her name was Gladys Bronwyn Stern.” Jack could only blink and shake his head. The details this kid remembered. “Anyway…this author, she’s known for a particular quote…and I don’t know…” 

Mac held his gaze and it was obvious to Jack that whatever it was had resonated with his partner in some profound way. 

“When I heard it, it…it just hit me,” Mac said. “Like a punch to the gut. The more I thought about it the harder it was to breathe. I mean it’s crazy, right? One quote, one little sentence and I was filled with such an incredible sense of conviction. It made me realize that I was a fraud…or worse…a coward.” 

_Whoa. Back the truck the fuck up…_ Fraud? Coward? Those two words didn’t even belong in the same universe as his partner. Jack was both shocked and concerned at this point. Mac must have sensed his intention to dispute and defend because he held a hand up, a silent plea for Jack not to interrupt. _Jesus. What the hell?_

Jack was pretty sure Mac couldn’t possibly shock him further but then the kid powered on and proved him wrong. “You’re the most important person in my life, Jack.” 

The vulnerability in those baby blues was almost too much to handle. 

“No one has ever made me feel the way you do,” Mac’s words were bold and strong, despite the obvious discomfort in saying them out loud. “You make me a priority. You make me feel safe. Protected.” Mac’s voice wavered and he dropped his eyes, head lowering self-consciously at the next word. “Loved…”

Jack couldn’t help himself, he reached out and gently lifted Mac’s chin, forced him to meet his gaze. 

“More than you will ever know,” Jack reassured. 

“No one has ever done that for me,” Mac whispered as he noticeably wrestled with his emotions. “I mean I barely even remember my mom. Grandpa tried, he really did, and I loved him for it. And James, well, we both know he didn’t even bother to stick around." Mac's eyes were bright as he continued. "But you stayed Jack. You always stay.” 

Jack swallowed around the lump forming in his throat. 

“Which brings me back to the radio show and the quote,” Mac reminded him. 

“Ah, yes, what pearl of wisdom did Gilda Brownstem offer?” Jack asked roughly.

“Gladys Bronwyn Stern,” Mac corrected seamlessly. “She said ‘Silent Gratitude Isn’t Much Use to Anyone.’ In other words, gratitude means nothing if you don’t say it.” 

Jack tilted his head curiously, brows furrowed as he played the quote over in his head. He knew the kid was trying to make a point. He just wasn’t quite getting it and Jack could tell by the look on Mac’s face that it was distressing him. 

“Jack,” Mac’s voice broke on his name and he brought a fist to his chest with a firm thump. “I have so much gratitude in my heart for you…but I’ve never told you…I’ve never thanked you. It doesn’t mean anything if I can’t say it!” 

_Oh, sweetheart._

“Now you know that’s not exactly true,” Jack’s throat sore from the damn lump that wouldn’t go away. “You show me lots of ways that you’re grateful for me. You always let me drive, you save me the last donut, and you let me use the flamethrower that time when it really wasn’t necessary…” 

“You deserve to hear it, Jack,” Mac insisted, oblivious to his attempt to lighten the mood. “You’re so good about telling me or showing me how you feel. I always know where I stand with you. It…it’s not fair to you that I suck at this.” 

Jack was suddenly extremely grateful for his instinct early this morning to put this conversation off until they’d gotten some rest. It was quite possible tears would have been involved due to their extreme level of exhaustion and Jack was pretty sure he would not have handled that well.

“I get what you’re trying to say, darlin’, I do. And anytime you want or need to tell me something, I’ll always be more than willing to listen. But you and I, we just have different ways of communicating, that’s all. My way isn’t any better than yours.” 

“Jack,” Mac shook his head stubbornly. “I see that look you get in your eyes sometimes when you think I’m not looking. You think this is temporary for me. That I’m not in it for the long haul.” 

Now it was Jacks turn to feel self-conscious. He felt his face color but refused to look away. 

“If I were better at expressing my feelings…you’d know that isn’t the case.” Mac paused and seemed to hold his breath for just a fraction of a second before continuing. “I love you, Jack.” 

Jack had heard the expression of time standing still before, but he’d never experienced it until this moment. His eyes widened in shock. You literally could have knocked him over with a feather. The silence seemed endless but in reality couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. They’d yet to say those three little words to each other since venturing into this new aspect of their relationship. They’d loved each other as friends for years…but the words held a whole new meaning now. Jack was still in awe of the confession when the first flicker of uncertainty appeared in Mac’s eyes at his lack of response. He’d inadvertently left his boy hanging and that was absolutely unacceptable. 

Jack took Mac’s face in his hands and pulled him in almost roughly…only to place a gentle kiss on soft parted lips. “Jesus Christ, sweetheart,” Jack breathed brokenly. “You don’t do anything by halves do you?” 

Mac wordlessly leaned into Jack and kissed him back – a deliberately tender and careful melding of mouths that left no doubt as to the depth and sincerity of his feelings. It was a fragile, beautiful thing that damn near brought tears to Jack’s eyes and he found that he could be no less honest or brave. He pulled away just enough to rest his forehead against Mac’s, noses touching as they continued to share the air between them. 

“I love you so goddamn much it scares me sometimes, darlin’,” Jack admitted in a harsh whisper. 

Mac’s hand found its way to the back of Jack’s neck, warm and reassuring. 

“Don’t be scared, Jack. I want this.” Mac’s voice as steady and confident as Jack had ever heard it. “I want you.” 

Jack kissed him again, hard and chaste, pulling back with a smile that took over his entire face. A matching one met him on Mac’s and all they could do was just grin at each other stupidly. Jack felt lighter, refreshed, like he could suddenly run a marathon. To know that the person you loved most in the world felt the exact same way about you…there was no other rush like it. 

“You never cease to amaze me, you know that?” Jack finally said. He figured it would be months before they reached this point, if they ever reached this point. He’d been in love with Mac for a long time, a lot longer than was probably appropriate truth be told. He _knew_ Mac cared about him but the young man played things pretty close to the vest when it came to his emotions…especially when it came to putting them to words. 

Mac’s smile was still soft, still genuine but he sobered slightly. 

“I won't end up like my dad, Jack,” he said. “Distant. Detached. To this day I still have no idea how he really feels about me. Logic tells me he loves me…like any father would love his son. His actions say otherwise. He’s a puzzle to me. One I’ve never been able to solve.” 

Mac’s hands were fidgeting in his lap and Jack reached out and took them in his. 

“I don’t want to be a puzzle to you, Jack,” Mac confessed. “I don’t ever want you to have to guess how I feel about you.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem," Jack assured so confidently that Mac actually tilted his head curiously. “See, you, my love, have a level of self-awareness that daddy dearest is lacking in spades for all the so-called brilliance he possesses. The conversation we’re having right now is proof positive of that. You recognized a potential issue, analyzed the hell out of it and took action to correct it. It’s what you do. I know how difficult and uncomfortable this was for you and let me tell you, sweetheart, it took courage to do what you just did.” 

Mac’s head dipped at the praise but Jack could tell he was pleased. 

“I want to do better, Jack,” he said. “You deserve it.” 

Jack tipped that sweet face up with a finger beneath Mac’s chin. “You’re doing just fine, but I see where you’re coming from. As tactile and affectionate as I am with you…there’s a lot I hold back,” he admitted. “The last thing I want to do is overwhelm you or pressure you into something you’re not ready for.” 

“You would never do that,” Mac shook his head. “That’s one of the things I love about you, Jack. You seem to know what I want…what I need, sometimes before I do. It’s like your super power.” 

Jack gave a low chuckle filled with warmth at the comment. 

“Don’t hold back,” Mac pleaded. “Please don’t hold back on my account. I want all of you, Jack.” 

Jack was so unbelievably touched by the comment that he was momentarily at a loss for words. What great deed had he done in his life to deserve this brilliant, beautiful man? Thankfully he wasn’t really the type to look a gift horse in the mouth. He didn’t care what he’d done so long as he got to keep him. 

“I’m yours, sweetheart,” It was a quiet, heartfelt declaration. “I have been since the moment we met.” 

Mac’s smile was sleepy soft. “You mean when you punched me in the face…that moment?”

“Absolutely,” Jack agreed readily. “I just didn’t know it yet.” 

Jack noticed that Mac was beginning to wilt a little, the need for more sleep creeping back in. He was starting to feel it as well. They’d tuckered themselves right out with all their damn emotions. 

“Now let’s get back to your Gertrude Blackwater quote about gratitude,” Jack watched as Mac rolled his eyes affectionately but didn’t bother correcting him this time. “Any time you want to tell me how grateful you are for me; I’ll sure as heck listen. But if for some reason it’s too much and you can’t say the words,” Jack said with no judgement, “just squeeze my hand.” He still had Mac’s hands held in his and he gave a gentle demonstration. “I’ll know exactly what you’re trying to say. Sound good?” 

“Yeah,” Mac agreed, blinking away the sudden shine in his eyes at the simple solution Jack had presented. “Thanks, Jack.” 

“Anytime, partner,” Jack cleared his throat to get rid of the rough edges. “Anything else you want to get off your chest?” 

Jack all but held his breath as Mac gave the question some serious consideration before responding. “No. I’m good.” 

“Oh, thank God," Jack flopped to the bed dramatically as Mac laughed. On his side facing Mac he opened his arm in invitation. “Get over here and cuddle me.” 

Mac wasted no time joining him. Jack pulled him in and tucked him under his chin, lacing their legs comfortably. Pressed together from head to toe Jack felt Mac’s deep inhale of breath and the slow measured release as he exhaled, warm air fanning over Jack’s collarbone. The silence was peaceful and soothing, unburdened by the doubts and insecurities they’d both been harboring. Once cozy warm and comfortable, it didn’t take long for their continued need for sleep to settle over them like a weighted blanket. They sank into it slowly, held in each other’s arms, as lids and limbs grew heavy. 

Determined to watch over Mac until the kid slipped into slumber, Jack was slightly startled when a delicate kiss pressed to his throat. It was followed by barely audible words, the last uttered before Mac drifted into darkness and towards dreams that Jack prayed were kind to him. “I love you.” 

Jack tightened his hold on the young man. He didn’t return the words out loud but the sentiment had taken root within him long before he’d ever been able to admit it. He lived and breathed his love for Mac every single day. 

Content, happy, and together…they slept. 

The End.


End file.
